The clock struck 12... and I am officially 35!
I am supposed to reflect on my life at this juncture. I am supposed to give thanks for all the blessings in my life. I am supposed to think about what I want to achieve in the next 5 years. But my mind has so much stuffs on it that everything is everywhere... I cant focus...
Maybe being 35 is like that? Maybe being 35 means I have to juggle a lot of stuffs up in the air? Maybe being 35 means I am in a constant flux of changes and will never be able to feel settled? Maybe being 35 means I still wont have the answers to all the 'difficult' questions that's been bugging me?
Not really excited that I am 35... why like that?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
It Didn't Make It
Remember my post about the caterpillar that remained a caterpillar for the longest time? It built a cocoon around itself on 18 Jun... and we waited for it to be transformed... a week later, it emerged halfway... but it didn't make it...
by the time we discovered that it was motionless for the longest time, its body was still encased in the cocoon, with its legs sticking up in the air... and we couldn't tell if it's a black beetle or a butterfly... and we didn't find out; I just removed it as is... don't want to think too much about it anymore... sad : (
by the time we discovered that it was motionless for the longest time, its body was still encased in the cocoon, with its legs sticking up in the air... and we couldn't tell if it's a black beetle or a butterfly... and we didn't find out; I just removed it as is... don't want to think too much about it anymore... sad : (
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
This Makes It All Worth It
I walked into the boys' bedroom the other day and saw this.
Lei was flipping through our scrapbook album... looking at the photos and reading the journaling... and this is what makes it all worth it... and this is what motivates me to keep on scrapping...
Lei was flipping through our scrapbook album... looking at the photos and reading the journaling... and this is what makes it all worth it... and this is what motivates me to keep on scrapping...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Are You Two Friends?
Today I want to thank someone special. IG.
Someone once asked us, "Are you two friends?"
And I answered, "No lah, we're not friends... Our sons are friends. We meet up only because our sons want to meet up..."
Hahaha! What was I saying? Of course, we're friends. We took the leap of faith to meet up one day for coffee. I am so comfortable with her; somehow we just click.
And the icing on the cake is that our sons click too. They enjoy each other's company and love playing together.
So we became "partners in crime", regularly meeting up with our boys in tow. She is always thinking of where to go and what to do with our boys - she has so much ideas and she's always so game to try anything... she inspires and motivates me to make time for my boys!
I am thankful our boys are friends. I am even more thankful we're friends.
Someone once asked us, "Are you two friends?"
And I answered, "No lah, we're not friends... Our sons are friends. We meet up only because our sons want to meet up..."
Hahaha! What was I saying? Of course, we're friends. We took the leap of faith to meet up one day for coffee. I am so comfortable with her; somehow we just click.
And the icing on the cake is that our sons click too. They enjoy each other's company and love playing together.
So we became "partners in crime", regularly meeting up with our boys in tow. She is always thinking of where to go and what to do with our boys - she has so much ideas and she's always so game to try anything... she inspires and motivates me to make time for my boys!
I am thankful our boys are friends. I am even more thankful we're friends.
The Caterpillar
We have a caterpillar... Xun brought it back from his fieldtrip to the Oh Chin Huat Farm during the March school holidays. Actually he brought back 2 caterpillars. He was supposed to talk to them and wait patiently for them to transform into pupas and then butterflies.
For one whole week, we checked on the fellows frequently... and one of them built a cocoon around itself and within a few days, broke out from the shelter... but it was NOT a butterfly!!???!!! It was a black beetle of some sorts... I have no idea what was it!!???!!! A couple of days later, we let it go at the grass patch downstairs... it has to move on with its life... of some sorts...
We have one more caterpillar left... and we waited for it to build a cocoon around itself and then metamorph into a butterfly... or a black beetle... or something... but it never does!!???!!! And we wonder why...
On 26 May 2009, we had a discussion... and my boys had the following hypotheses:
- Lei thought the caterpillar is still a caterpillar because it doesn't know how to build a cocoon...
- Xun thought it is afraid that it will become a black beetle just like the other caterpillar... so it chooses to remain a caterpillar...
So we might never find out if it's meant to be a butterfly...
The discussion hit a spot in my heart... i imagine every child is like a caterpillar... will they have the knowledge to build a cocoon around themselves in preparation for their metamorphosis? how can we, as parents, help them? will we, as parents, have the patience to wait for them to make the transformation in their own time? more importantly will they have the courage to transform? are we, as parents, prepared to love them and accept them regardless of whether they turn into a black beetle or a butterfly???
I'm still hopeful that the caterpillar will transform one day... in his own time...
For one whole week, we checked on the fellows frequently... and one of them built a cocoon around itself and within a few days, broke out from the shelter... but it was NOT a butterfly!!???!!! It was a black beetle of some sorts... I have no idea what was it!!???!!! A couple of days later, we let it go at the grass patch downstairs... it has to move on with its life... of some sorts...
We have one more caterpillar left... and we waited for it to build a cocoon around itself and then metamorph into a butterfly... or a black beetle... or something... but it never does!!???!!! And we wonder why...
On 26 May 2009, we had a discussion... and my boys had the following hypotheses:
- Lei thought the caterpillar is still a caterpillar because it doesn't know how to build a cocoon...
- Xun thought it is afraid that it will become a black beetle just like the other caterpillar... so it chooses to remain a caterpillar...
So we might never find out if it's meant to be a butterfly...
The discussion hit a spot in my heart... i imagine every child is like a caterpillar... will they have the knowledge to build a cocoon around themselves in preparation for their metamorphosis? how can we, as parents, help them? will we, as parents, have the patience to wait for them to make the transformation in their own time? more importantly will they have the courage to transform? are we, as parents, prepared to love them and accept them regardless of whether they turn into a black beetle or a butterfly???
I'm still hopeful that the caterpillar will transform one day... in his own time...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I Pledge
... to write in my 5-year diary every day.
It was an unobtrusive little notebook. Tight grey striped fabric cover. Each page has 5 sections for meto fill in. Simple instruction: Just turn to the current date, fill in the year and write a few sentences about your day.
It was a gift from June, given to me on 8 Aug 2007... my first entry. But i haven't been conscientious in writing the subsequent entries... lots of blank in the book : (
Today, I pledge to write in my 5-year diary every day. As time goes by, i will be able to read past entries as I write new ones... it's like peeling away the rings of bark on a tree... magical!
For the record, today last year (28 May 2009), the entry was:
drew first pay cheque with increased pay. very shiok feeling but also very stressed, must work harder. told HS the good news and the first thing he said was can he quit his job then???
: S
It was an unobtrusive little notebook. Tight grey striped fabric cover. Each page has 5 sections for meto fill in. Simple instruction: Just turn to the current date, fill in the year and write a few sentences about your day.
It was a gift from June, given to me on 8 Aug 2007... my first entry. But i haven't been conscientious in writing the subsequent entries... lots of blank in the book : (
Today, I pledge to write in my 5-year diary every day. As time goes by, i will be able to read past entries as I write new ones... it's like peeling away the rings of bark on a tree... magical!
For the record, today last year (28 May 2009), the entry was:
drew first pay cheque with increased pay. very shiok feeling but also very stressed, must work harder. told HS the good news and the first thing he said was can he quit his job then???
: S
Something is Important
I read the following paragraph in a book... liked it soooooo much....
If we truly believe in our hearts that something is important, we will find a way to make it happen, even if in baby steps. If creating art is an activity that will feed our soul, it will also be a lifelong commitment. So in the broad vision, missing days here and there will not matter; the overall desire will remain strong, and each day and week will bring new opportunities to fulfill our intention. Remember "Rome was not built in oa day!".
If we truly believe in our hearts that something is important, we will find a way to make it happen, even if in baby steps. If creating art is an activity that will feed our soul, it will also be a lifelong commitment. So in the broad vision, missing days here and there will not matter; the overall desire will remain strong, and each day and week will bring new opportunities to fulfill our intention. Remember "Rome was not built in oa day!".
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