I Pledge

... to write in my 5-year diary every day.

It was an unobtrusive little notebook. Tight grey striped fabric cover. Each page has 5 sections for meto fill in. Simple instruction: Just turn to the current date, fill in the year and write a few sentences about your day.

It was a gift from June, given to me on 8 Aug 2007... my first entry. But i haven't been conscientious in writing the subsequent entries... lots of blank in the book : (

Today, I pledge to write in my 5-year diary every day. As time goes by, i will be able to read past entries as I write new ones... it's like peeling away the rings of bark on a tree... magical!

For the record, today last year (28 May 2009), the entry was:
drew first pay cheque with increased pay. very shiok feeling but also very stressed, must work harder. told HS the good news and the first thing he said was can he quit his job then???

: S

Something is Important

I read the following paragraph in a book... liked it soooooo much....

If we truly believe in our hearts that something is important, we will find a way to make it happen, even if in baby steps. If creating art is an activity that will feed our soul, it will also be a lifelong commitment. So in the broad vision, missing days here and there will not matter; the overall desire will remain strong, and each day and week will bring new opportunities to fulfill our intention. Remember "Rome was not built in oa day!".

Parent - Teacher Meetings (report)

Parent Teacher Meeting on 22 May 2009. 1015am: stepped into classroom, picked up Lei's exams scripts from the front table, sat at the 3rd row of tables and scrutinised every single page and every single mistake he made (sim tia ah!) and every score he's achieved (can be better but...). Waited for his form teacher to call us to exchange some brief feedback about the boy.

1040am the teacher asked if we have any questions? I looked at HS blankly, then threw the question back to the teacher "do you have anything to tell us about Lei?"... i'm so lame. Feedback generally positive... no worries about his academic abilities nor his behaviour. We left at 1045am. Short and sweet... why must meet? call me on the phone and talk can already what.

Lei's results were not stellar... did we expect too much from the boy? or are his peers so much stronger than him? i took a step back and consider the big picture... and i think it is better to be a small fish in a big pond (versus being the big fish in a small pond)... helps build his sense of competition and humility and hard work.

Parent - Teacher Meetings

What do people normally say at the Parent - Teacher Meetings? This Friday, i will be going to Lei's school to view his exams papers and speak with his teachers. This is my FIRST TIME!!!

Okay, I have attended PTM at the boys childcare centre... it was a pretty intimate affair as the teachers know the boys well... actually i get the same feedback every time, regardless of which level they are at.

For Lei, his teachers will recount how he used to scream his head off when he first arrived at the centre... he has a tendency to break into a loud wail whenever he could not get his way... so the feedback was how he was like last time, and how he's improved already.

For Xun, it's the same story... his teachers will recount how he used to throw tantrums every now and then... he also has a tendency to break into a loud wail whenever he could not get his way... so the feedback was how he was like last time, and how he improved already.

The teachers never forget the first impressions made.

Hmmm, i've always placed greater importance on their character development during the pre-school phrase. I wasn't as kan cheong when it comes to their learning abilities, whether they know their ABC or count to 20... I wanted to make sure they develop the right character traits and learn to be independent.

Now that Lei is in the formal education phrase... and amidst a larger cohort of kids... I wonder what his teachers will say about him, and what should i ask about? Perhaps the emphasis will shift towards the academic stuffs : "weak in comprehension... must do more assessment books" / "need to practise the 2 timetables during school holidays" / "not good at word recognition... must brush up"...

Or maybe it'll be standard statements like "careless boy, always never check his work before pass up" / "never pay attention in class, always play with his rubber" / "busybody ah, always go and ka-cheow his classmates" / "very quiet boy, hardly say anything in class"...

(sorry, all teachers out there, i know your English is definitely much better than these... I was recalling how my mother used to tell us what our teachers said about us : P)

I still think the character development is still important leh... i hope his teachers can share their observations on Lei's behaviour and attitudes, rather than how well he reads or whether he completes his work on time.

Ignorance Is Bliss

how true... when i didnt know about it, everything seems fine... but i stumbled upon someone's blog post from long ago, and realized something... and now I have to deal with that horrible feeling of realization... and the added guilt of pretending that i don't know...

A Year of My Life

I am so excited! I almost finished this project - A Picture A Day... a year of my life from 1 May 2008 to 30 Apr 2009.




thanks to the inspiration from the Day By Day chapter in "Journal Revolution" by Linda Woods + Karen Dinino... i got precious record of my life for a whole year!!! These may be just snapshots from significant events only, but i am blown over by the consolidated documentation... really really happy with the outcome : )




And i love that i use the song lyrics of "I hope you Dance" By Lee Ann Womack... always inspired and comforted by that song...




I am still taking a picture a day from 1 May 2009... on a slightly different format... go on, try it yourself, 110% satisfaction guaranteed!!!

This One Is For Xun

This child brings me lots of surprises. This layout is created especially for him...

using the background i painted during Celine Navarro's workshop on 10 May 2009...lucky me... the mix of colours turned out so lovely! So i decided to keep the layout really simple... just stamped journaling and date... no embellishments.

And for the very first (and probably the very last) time, I stamped the journaling backwards letter by letter, from the last word to the first word... just so that i can fit the journaling above the photo mat... can die lor! if you're a right-hander like me, please do not attempt to do this at home... can cause severe sore neck!!!

P.S. now i better cook something like this for Lei... "how come he has, I don't have????"...

I Have A Disease.

I have a disease. It's called procastination.

I am always finding excuses NOT TO DO SOMETHING. I am so L-A-Z-Y.

I bought self help books... hoping to find the secret cure to my disease. I read all of them from cover to cover... then I procastinate implementing the suggested tips and techniques... I am incurable!!!! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

I Hate That Feeling

Childcare centre closed today. Xun stays home with me. We're going out with Jet and Ern later in the afternoon.

Xun has been good. He plays by himself. Once in a while, he'll pop into the room to let me taste the pizza, ice cream and cookie he's made with play-doh. Then he had enough of play-doh and asked to play with something else. I set up the laptop for him to play with Dr Seuss' ABC.

I can hear the sounds from that programme and an occasional laugh from Xun, and know that he's enjoying himself. Once in a while, he'll pop into the room to tell the funny things that Icabod and Izzy do when he clicked on the many icons.

Then that familiar feeling starts coming to me. The guilt. Of not spending time with my son. Of choosing to park him in front of the computer so that I can do my own things. Of slipping into the same old dilemma of whether to work or to spend time with my son.

I hate that feeling.

Dunno Why

Ha! Something is not right with me today.

I have never wanted to start a blog.

But after visiting SY's blog, I just went on to click on the button "Create Blog".

Something is really not right with me today.