BE RESPONSIBLE...

Lei's teacher posted this message for the boys...

Dear boys,

I hope you can set your priorities right and manage your time properly with regards to homework. If you have difficulties in doing so, you will need to seek help from your parents. The teachers should not hear anyone giving us the excuse that you had tuition and therefore did not have the time to complete your homework, especially when your teachers did not assign you many pieces of work.

It only boils down to how responsible you have been for your own learning. If you had been paying attention in class, you would not be needing tuition. If you have been on task, you would not need a lot of time to complete your work. If you had not wasted time on other activities(such as play or TV), you would have more than enough time for both work and tuition.

BE RESPNOSIBLE at all time, not only for your own learning, but also for your own properties and action.

I have mixed reactions to what she wrote...

(a) I totally agreed that one has to be responsible for oneself... be it for one's own learning, one's own properties and actions, or one's own life.

(b) I totally agreed that one should set one's priorities right and manage one's time properly.

(c) I questioned whether it is really sufficient to pay attention in class, and be able do well in school today, without additional lessons outside.

(d) I questioned where is the balance between schoolwork and play (and even TV)... learning should be an enjoyable process, a joyful journey... and play is a learning process too... but with all these crazy demands and schedules, will the boys truly enjoy learning?

(e) I questioned whether it is really the boys' sole responsibilities to manage their own priorities and time... or it is the parents' fault??? Even as an adult, I have problems managing my priorities and time... how is a young child to know???

(f) I questioned myself as a mother what should I do to help my sons cope with the stress of schoolwork, and keep up with the crazy demands and schedules... and stil continue to enjoy learning???

On a guilt trip again

the same old story... picked up the boys late... checked Lei's school bag and realised that he has not completed his homework nor done the corrections... flew into a mad frenzy... screamed at the boy... made him stayed up late to finish the task... nagged and nagged and nagged... everyone is exhausted at the end of the episode... one went to bed unhappy and tired... one went to bed fustrated and guilty...

I questioned myself why I didn't make time to guide Lei in his homework and revision... I don't know if I COULDN'T or I WOULDN'T... I knew what was the problem here... I knew what my options were... I just didn't want to make that decision that I know I have to make...

Tuesday - Swimming Only.

A friend's Primary 2 son has :
Monday - Piano
Tuesday - Kumon Maths
Wednesday - School CCA
Thursday - Chinese tuition
Friday - Chinese enrichment class / Taekwando
Saturday - Swimming / Kumon / Roller Blading
Sunday - Temple Sunday School / Creative Writing

My Primary One son has :
Tuesday - Swimming

Am I shortchanging my son???

It Didn't Make It

Remember my post about the caterpillar that remained a caterpillar for the longest time? It built a cocoon around itself on 18 Jun... and we waited for it to be transformed... a week later, it emerged halfway... but it didn't make it...

by the time we discovered that it was motionless for the longest time, its body was still encased in the cocoon, with its legs sticking up in the air... and we couldn't tell if it's a black beetle or a butterfly... and we didn't find out; I just removed it as is... don't want to think too much about it anymore... sad : (

Parent - Teacher Meetings (report)

Parent Teacher Meeting on 22 May 2009. 1015am: stepped into classroom, picked up Lei's exams scripts from the front table, sat at the 3rd row of tables and scrutinised every single page and every single mistake he made (sim tia ah!) and every score he's achieved (can be better but...). Waited for his form teacher to call us to exchange some brief feedback about the boy.

1040am the teacher asked if we have any questions? I looked at HS blankly, then threw the question back to the teacher "do you have anything to tell us about Lei?"... i'm so lame. Feedback generally positive... no worries about his academic abilities nor his behaviour. We left at 1045am. Short and sweet... why must meet? call me on the phone and talk can already what.

Lei's results were not stellar... did we expect too much from the boy? or are his peers so much stronger than him? i took a step back and consider the big picture... and i think it is better to be a small fish in a big pond (versus being the big fish in a small pond)... helps build his sense of competition and humility and hard work.

Parent - Teacher Meetings

What do people normally say at the Parent - Teacher Meetings? This Friday, i will be going to Lei's school to view his exams papers and speak with his teachers. This is my FIRST TIME!!!

Okay, I have attended PTM at the boys childcare centre... it was a pretty intimate affair as the teachers know the boys well... actually i get the same feedback every time, regardless of which level they are at.

For Lei, his teachers will recount how he used to scream his head off when he first arrived at the centre... he has a tendency to break into a loud wail whenever he could not get his way... so the feedback was how he was like last time, and how he's improved already.

For Xun, it's the same story... his teachers will recount how he used to throw tantrums every now and then... he also has a tendency to break into a loud wail whenever he could not get his way... so the feedback was how he was like last time, and how he improved already.

The teachers never forget the first impressions made.

Hmmm, i've always placed greater importance on their character development during the pre-school phrase. I wasn't as kan cheong when it comes to their learning abilities, whether they know their ABC or count to 20... I wanted to make sure they develop the right character traits and learn to be independent.

Now that Lei is in the formal education phrase... and amidst a larger cohort of kids... I wonder what his teachers will say about him, and what should i ask about? Perhaps the emphasis will shift towards the academic stuffs : "weak in comprehension... must do more assessment books" / "need to practise the 2 timetables during school holidays" / "not good at word recognition... must brush up"...

Or maybe it'll be standard statements like "careless boy, always never check his work before pass up" / "never pay attention in class, always play with his rubber" / "busybody ah, always go and ka-cheow his classmates" / "very quiet boy, hardly say anything in class"...

(sorry, all teachers out there, i know your English is definitely much better than these... I was recalling how my mother used to tell us what our teachers said about us : P)

I still think the character development is still important leh... i hope his teachers can share their observations on Lei's behaviour and attitudes, rather than how well he reads or whether he completes his work on time.