What Kind Of Life Do I Want?

Life seemed to have whirled past me in recent times... I have been caught on the 'superhighway' of things, and didn't find the windows to make posts here.

But one thought that keeps going around my head is this: What kind of life do I want?

This came about since my Bali trip (early Sep 2009), I think. I made the following conclusions within the hour that I touched down on that island: One must travel out of one's familiar environment to be made aware of how big the world is, and the many choices available in life. I remember when we were in Tokyo (Aug 2008), I concluded that life can be better, standards of living can be higher. However, when we were in Bali, I saw the other side of the spectrum (not the extreme opposite but the contrast was obvious, and realized that life can be simpler, and we should be contented with the comfortable lifestyle that we have now.

I have no answer for now... sometimes, when I desire nice outfits or crave for that dining experience in a posh restaurant, I think of Tokyo... sometimes, when I am more down-to-earth, I'd think of Bali and tell myself to forgo that pair of shoes or take the MRT... : S

Mama Is A Christmas Tree

I cannot remember when it all started. But I have a habit of carrying big bags... and many bags. I have no qualms of slinging bags on both shoulders, and hanging more bags on both arms... maybe it was the habit of my days as a studious student, lugging all my textbooks to school... maybe it was the habit of my days as a serious shopaholic???

Well, this habit of mine has led my boys to call me a Christmas Tree, where they can hang their bags and jackets and even toys on me!

I wish someone will hand jewellery and gems on me instead!

No Record...

I knew this is going to happen...

I knew there will come a time when I will get swarmed by many other stuffs in my life, and I will not come here to make any post. Sorry. It has happened.

But I know I am NOT missing out on the documentation of my life. I am still scribbling in my 5-year diary and I am still taking pictures for my A-Photo-A-Day calendar. This blog was never meant to cover all aspects of my record.

I guess I am still cynical about keeping records in the virtual world... call me backwards or whatever, I am still very much the touch-and-feel, brick-and-mortar person at heart. I have this phobia that someday, the virtual world will disappear and my records here will be gone!

I Am No Good With Goodbyes

Someone is leaving today. And I am thinking of staying at home so that I do not have to say good-bye to the person. Not that I don't like the person. In fact, I am sad that the person has to go.

I am just no good with goodbyes. Either way: someone leaving or myself leaving. Usually people will go around the office on their last day to bid farewell to everyone. In my previous jobs, I never said goodbye to the departing colleague (unless he/she came over) nor made my round when I was departing. I just sat at my desk the whole day as if it was any other normal day; then stepped out of the office quietly when it's time to go. I reckon on my first day of work, I came quietly... so on my last day of work, I shall leave quietly. Life goes on for everyone...

I can't bear the goodbyes. I can't explain why. So I act like it's no big deal (even though it hurts a little inside).

I Am Swee Ching

I could have been a Connie.

When I was born, my parents debated whether to give me an English name. My mother thought of the name Connie. My father objected to the whole idea of an English name, because we are Chinese. Being conservative, he even argued that only bargirls (in the exact term he used) have English names. So my mother didn't insist. (Heng ah! I really cannot picture myself as a Connie : P)

As I was growing up, I disliked my dialect name Swee Ching. I was much more used to my Chinese name (pronounced as Ruijing), and I cringed every time someone called me by my dialect name. I then dreamt of having an English name. I thought I could be a Dorothy, a Adeline, or a Caryn.

Then I was a Jeryn.

When I was 17, I decided that I will be Jeryn. I plucked that name from the air, thinking that it sounds cheerful and happy and fun, and the spelling is unique. My JC friends, to Uni friends, to URA colleagues all know me as Jeryn.

But I am really Swee Ching.

After I left URA, I joined a private company and had the opportunity to fly to China, as the company has offices in Beijing and Shanghai. When I set foot in Beijing, something happened. I was totally awed and humbled by the Chinese culture and history. I realized that I am a descendent of the Chinese people, and I should be proud of my Chinese heritage and identity. I decided that I should embrace my given name, chosen by my parents, which is a true reflection of my Chinese roots. So I am Swee Ching. Was, is and will be. Always and forever.

Oh! And please! It's Ng Swee Ching, not Swee Ching Ng. Because I am a Chinese.

What's Next?

Upon receiving news that I passed my driving test and got my licence, someone prompted me: 2009 resolution achieved. what's next?

Then I remembered another someone who heard my reason on why I decided to take up driving (see last paragraph in previous post), and reminded me that I should learn to cook too. So that I can provide proper care-giving for my aging parents or MIL should the need arise.

Hmmm... maybe that can be the next big milestone achievement I should work towards???

18 points. Passed.

Driving test on 15 Aug 2009 Saturday.

Motorcar Class 3A. A for Auto. Me not so garang to take up M. M for Manual. Me decided not to challenge myself too much.

Warm-up at 815am. Everything went smoothly. Instructor accompanied me to Level 3 waiting area. Then someone called my name. I looked up and saw the tester... the most handsome one whom i was secretly hoping i might get... alamak! it makes me even more nervous!!! I did the circuit course... everything in a blur... then we went out... tester didn't tell me which test route, just turn right, then turn right, then go straight... then everything in a blur again... returned to SSDC and followed tester to the office for result.

18 points. Passed. Tester chided me for missing out on my safety checks (hence the 18 points). Phew!

Next challenge: parking at the MSCP and driving on the expressways. Personal tutorials from husband - stress ah!

I had taken up driving so as to be prepared for the day when I need to ferry my aging parents or MIL to the hospital for their medical check-ups. I hope that day wont come so soon... in the meanwhile, I look forward to ferrying my boys to places... and more adventures!!!