Someone is leaving today. And I am thinking of staying at home so that I do not have to say good-bye to the person. Not that I don't like the person. In fact, I am sad that the person has to go.
I am just no good with goodbyes. Either way: someone leaving or myself leaving. Usually people will go around the office on their last day to bid farewell to everyone. In my previous jobs, I never said goodbye to the departing colleague (unless he/she came over) nor made my round when I was departing. I just sat at my desk the whole day as if it was any other normal day; then stepped out of the office quietly when it's time to go. I reckon on my first day of work, I came quietly... so on my last day of work, I shall leave quietly. Life goes on for everyone...
I can't bear the goodbyes. I can't explain why. So I act like it's no big deal (even though it hurts a little inside).
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I Am Swee Ching
I could have been a Connie.
When I was born, my parents debated whether to give me an English name. My mother thought of the name Connie. My father objected to the whole idea of an English name, because we are Chinese. Being conservative, he even argued that only bargirls (in the exact term he used) have English names. So my mother didn't insist. (Heng ah! I really cannot picture myself as a Connie : P)
As I was growing up, I disliked my dialect name Swee Ching. I was much more used to my Chinese name (pronounced as Ruijing), and I cringed every time someone called me by my dialect name. I then dreamt of having an English name. I thought I could be a Dorothy, a Adeline, or a Caryn.
Then I was a Jeryn.
When I was 17, I decided that I will be Jeryn. I plucked that name from the air, thinking that it sounds cheerful and happy and fun, and the spelling is unique. My JC friends, to Uni friends, to URA colleagues all know me as Jeryn.
But I am really Swee Ching.
After I left URA, I joined a private company and had the opportunity to fly to China, as the company has offices in Beijing and Shanghai. When I set foot in Beijing, something happened. I was totally awed and humbled by the Chinese culture and history. I realized that I am a descendent of the Chinese people, and I should be proud of my Chinese heritage and identity. I decided that I should embrace my given name, chosen by my parents, which is a true reflection of my Chinese roots. So I am Swee Ching. Was, is and will be. Always and forever.
Oh! And please! It's Ng Swee Ching, not Swee Ching Ng. Because I am a Chinese.
When I was born, my parents debated whether to give me an English name. My mother thought of the name Connie. My father objected to the whole idea of an English name, because we are Chinese. Being conservative, he even argued that only bargirls (in the exact term he used) have English names. So my mother didn't insist. (Heng ah! I really cannot picture myself as a Connie : P)
As I was growing up, I disliked my dialect name Swee Ching. I was much more used to my Chinese name (pronounced as Ruijing), and I cringed every time someone called me by my dialect name. I then dreamt of having an English name. I thought I could be a Dorothy, a Adeline, or a Caryn.
Then I was a Jeryn.
When I was 17, I decided that I will be Jeryn. I plucked that name from the air, thinking that it sounds cheerful and happy and fun, and the spelling is unique. My JC friends, to Uni friends, to URA colleagues all know me as Jeryn.
But I am really Swee Ching.
After I left URA, I joined a private company and had the opportunity to fly to China, as the company has offices in Beijing and Shanghai. When I set foot in Beijing, something happened. I was totally awed and humbled by the Chinese culture and history. I realized that I am a descendent of the Chinese people, and I should be proud of my Chinese heritage and identity. I decided that I should embrace my given name, chosen by my parents, which is a true reflection of my Chinese roots. So I am Swee Ching. Was, is and will be. Always and forever.
Oh! And please! It's Ng Swee Ching, not Swee Ching Ng. Because I am a Chinese.
Monday, August 17, 2009
What's Next?
Upon receiving news that I passed my driving test and got my licence, someone prompted me: 2009 resolution achieved. what's next?
Then I remembered another someone who heard my reason on why I decided to take up driving (see last paragraph in previous post), and reminded me that I should learn to cook too. So that I can provide proper care-giving for my aging parents or MIL should the need arise.
Hmmm... maybe that can be the next big milestone achievement I should work towards???
Then I remembered another someone who heard my reason on why I decided to take up driving (see last paragraph in previous post), and reminded me that I should learn to cook too. So that I can provide proper care-giving for my aging parents or MIL should the need arise.
Hmmm... maybe that can be the next big milestone achievement I should work towards???
Sunday, August 16, 2009
18 points. Passed.
Driving test on 15 Aug 2009 Saturday.
Motorcar Class 3A. A for Auto. Me not so garang to take up M. M for Manual. Me decided not to challenge myself too much.
Warm-up at 815am. Everything went smoothly. Instructor accompanied me to Level 3 waiting area. Then someone called my name. I looked up and saw the tester... the most handsome one whom i was secretly hoping i might get... alamak! it makes me even more nervous!!! I did the circuit course... everything in a blur... then we went out... tester didn't tell me which test route, just turn right, then turn right, then go straight... then everything in a blur again... returned to SSDC and followed tester to the office for result.
18 points. Passed. Tester chided me for missing out on my safety checks (hence the 18 points). Phew!
Next challenge: parking at the MSCP and driving on the expressways. Personal tutorials from husband - stress ah!
I had taken up driving so as to be prepared for the day when I need to ferry my aging parents or MIL to the hospital for their medical check-ups. I hope that day wont come so soon... in the meanwhile, I look forward to ferrying my boys to places... and more adventures!!!
Motorcar Class 3A. A for Auto. Me not so garang to take up M. M for Manual. Me decided not to challenge myself too much.
Warm-up at 815am. Everything went smoothly. Instructor accompanied me to Level 3 waiting area. Then someone called my name. I looked up and saw the tester... the most handsome one whom i was secretly hoping i might get... alamak! it makes me even more nervous!!! I did the circuit course... everything in a blur... then we went out... tester didn't tell me which test route, just turn right, then turn right, then go straight... then everything in a blur again... returned to SSDC and followed tester to the office for result.
18 points. Passed. Tester chided me for missing out on my safety checks (hence the 18 points). Phew!
Next challenge: parking at the MSCP and driving on the expressways. Personal tutorials from husband - stress ah!
I had taken up driving so as to be prepared for the day when I need to ferry my aging parents or MIL to the hospital for their medical check-ups. I hope that day wont come so soon... in the meanwhile, I look forward to ferrying my boys to places... and more adventures!!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
I Am Afraid I Do Not Deserve It
I must be mad.
People have dreams. People desire a good life. People want to achieve. Me too. And yet I hesitate to have dreams, to have a good life, to achieve.
Whenever I realized my dreams, whenever I live a good life, whenever I achieve... I do not believe that it is true! I am afraid that I do not deserve such good stuffs... they are too good for me, too good to be true...
I must be mad.
People have dreams. People desire a good life. People want to achieve. Me too. And yet I hesitate to have dreams, to have a good life, to achieve.
Whenever I realized my dreams, whenever I live a good life, whenever I achieve... I do not believe that it is true! I am afraid that I do not deserve such good stuffs... they are too good for me, too good to be true...
I must be mad.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday - Swimming Only.
A friend's Primary 2 son has :
Monday - Piano
Tuesday - Kumon Maths
Wednesday - School CCA
Thursday - Chinese tuition
Friday - Chinese enrichment class / Taekwando
Saturday - Swimming / Kumon / Roller Blading
Sunday - Temple Sunday School / Creative Writing
My Primary One son has :
Tuesday - Swimming
Am I shortchanging my son???
Monday - Piano
Tuesday - Kumon Maths
Wednesday - School CCA
Thursday - Chinese tuition
Friday - Chinese enrichment class / Taekwando
Saturday - Swimming / Kumon / Roller Blading
Sunday - Temple Sunday School / Creative Writing
My Primary One son has :
Tuesday - Swimming
Am I shortchanging my son???
Spending Time
... with the boys seemed to happen when they are ill and cannot go to school!!!
Other than the usual weekends where everyone is at home, I realized that I only spend "special time" with my boys when they are ill!!! For example, Xun was running a slight temperature last Thursday morning... so I cannot send him up the school bus... and I decided that I will work from home and let him stay at home with me (instead of sending him to my mother's place and risk passing the bug to his cousins).
In the morning, while I worked on the computer, he read his books and played his games and worked on the activity book that i just bought for him. By lunch time, his temperature subsided and seemed well enough to run a marathon (cheat my money! what happened to the temperature???). So I took him with me while I run some errands. We had a special lunch at Swensons, and we hang around Raffles Exchange for a while... then we followed Lei to his swimming class... nothing spectacular... but I could tell that the little boy is extremely happy to be able to spend time with mama!
And I realized that I only give the boys such "special time" only when any of them run a temperature and cannot go to school (but recover fast enough to follow mama around)!!! This is not right!!! I should be making effort to spend "special time" with the boys regularly... Let me see my schedule...
Other than the usual weekends where everyone is at home, I realized that I only spend "special time" with my boys when they are ill!!! For example, Xun was running a slight temperature last Thursday morning... so I cannot send him up the school bus... and I decided that I will work from home and let him stay at home with me (instead of sending him to my mother's place and risk passing the bug to his cousins).
In the morning, while I worked on the computer, he read his books and played his games and worked on the activity book that i just bought for him. By lunch time, his temperature subsided and seemed well enough to run a marathon (cheat my money! what happened to the temperature???). So I took him with me while I run some errands. We had a special lunch at Swensons, and we hang around Raffles Exchange for a while... then we followed Lei to his swimming class... nothing spectacular... but I could tell that the little boy is extremely happy to be able to spend time with mama!
And I realized that I only give the boys such "special time" only when any of them run a temperature and cannot go to school (but recover fast enough to follow mama around)!!! This is not right!!! I should be making effort to spend "special time" with the boys regularly... Let me see my schedule...
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